I AM BACK!!! Before you say anything I am so sorry for the long hiatus. When I tell ya'll that life got real after my last blog..It got REALLY REAL. So let's jump into it The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly.
Even though I thought I would be single forever I found love again. After my birthday this handsome young man (ChefBae) slid in my DM's. I wasn't trying to pay him any attention but he got me. Spending time and getting to know him helped me appreciate the time I had as a single lady. Everything I learned in my singleness and the healing I experienced prepared me for this man. Like Whitney Houston said, "He's all the man I need."
In the midst of starting this new relationship and finishing up my Master's life turned me upside down... My granny was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in late February/early March. Hearing that news tore me up. The next few months were like walking on eggshells. My granny was in and out of the hospital month after month. On top of this, I was taking my MCAT again to matriculate to UAB for medical school. I had so much stress on me that I didn't even realize it, I literally felt I was running around in a hamster wheel. By the grace of God, I graduated with my Master's in May ( Your girl is a 2x UA alumna!) but I also decided to pause my journey to medical school. If that wasn't enough my grandad was diagnosed with sinus cancer. If you know me you know that my grandparents are my heart. I'm granddaddy's baby and granny's girl. My grandparents and I have been close all my life. I remember them being there for every single thing and always being available. My granny taught me that nothing is impossible for a woman. She also taught me that nobody can cook collard greens like her. My granddaddy is a man of few words but when he speaks you listen. He taught me what a God fearing man was and how a man should cherish his wife and family. My grandparents are perfect to me and I wouldn't change a thing about them. They've taught and shown me so much about life, and I'm forever grateful for that.
Well......I continued to try and live my best life but on August 23rd, 2018 I was faced with my biggest fear. My granny passed away.....My biggest fear has always been losing my grandparents. For some reason I wanted my grandparents to live forever. I wanted them to see me get married, successfully complete medical school, have kids, and buy my first home among other milestones. I still can't describe how it feels to lose my granny. I think about her every day and wish I had one more day with her. I always think back to the talks we would have over a pot of coffee. Those talks were priceless and more valuable than anything I could learn from a book or in a classroom. I miss going to the house and her greeting me with "Hey baby" and a warm hug. I miss calling her and recapping on Real Housewives of Atlanta and Married to Medicine (We would have a good Ki-Ki). I miss her having a pot of greens ready for me when I visited. Most importantly I just miss her. Before she got sick I remember my sister telling me "Joy guess what?".. "What girl?".."Don't tell granny but I found out that she reads all your blogs". Hearing that wasn't shocking but it made things make sense. When I launched my blog my granny started telling me more and more about how proud she was of me and how she admired my strength. My granny has always been my biggest cheerleader, but these words of affirmation felt different. It felt like she had learned things about me that she didn't know.
Through all of this, I'm lucky that my granddaddy is still here with us and is recovering. I'm thankful that I can still hear his voice and hug him. I'm thankful that he can still be a part of my life and the precious moments that are to come. I'm thankful for the lessons he's taught me on love and life. Yes, we have a new normal to adjust to without granny, but I know we will be fine. No matter how good, bad, or ugly life gets; keep going because, in the end, it does get better.